Freedom of Speech, FB/Blog Stalkers, and Memory Loss

disabilty, motherhood

Dear Well, You Know Who You Are,

Thanks for making me have to change my FB picture.

Perhaps you are a busybody, perhaps you just like stirring the pot, but either way pumpkin, the former picture up there says it all – it has been almost 30 years that we are together and as our marriage vows stated, “Let no (wo)man tear asunder.”  Please refer to Matthew 19:6 where “Christ declares matrimony to be indissoluble,” for further details and some good tips – perhaps you need to look to your own house’s foundations sweetie, because my foundation is rock solid; and I have huge team of masons.

People just really never cease to amaze me in their ability to blow a simply innocuous statement, one guaranteed not only through our Constitution’s freedom of speech, but also the freedom of the press, way out of proportion to cause drama. Maybe a copy of the U.S. Constitution should be her Secret Santa gift at work this year?

You know sweetie, while trying to claw your way to the top of the garbage heap, you should do your own research.

In 2007 I wrote a small, but powerful, letter to the editor about a lovely young lady who tragically died in a car crash in Delmar. I am certain you know her father. This young lady was being vilified by the media, her wake stalked by news trucks; and when I pointed out that what the media was doing was abhorrent, I faced a lot of positive words of encouragement from people that said it touched them, most who have suffered tragedy in their lives that I hope to never have to ever imagine. The negative one is what, however, chilled me to the core.

At the time of this letter, one that I had written on my own time, I was working in fundraising, VERY part-time and for very low pay, wages way below market value for the services I provided, and my supervisor was what I thought a very progressive and liberal free thinker. How could you not be as a NFP Executive Director who dealt with the homeless right?

WRONG! He called me into his office the day after it ran in the paper and asked me why I wrote the piece, He also asked me why I used my name and if I understood the magnitude of the letter I wrote on potential donors and the media.

As he was my Big Boss, I swallowed hard, with me, with my graduate degree, two permanent NYS teaching certifications, two needy and sick family members and five children under my roof and listened to what he had to say.

What I said next is probably one of the things in this world I am most proud of, I politely asked him, “Did I lose my right to free speech when I agreed to work here?”

I think I must have shocked him because he angrily snapped at me, “What the hell are you talking about?”

I grabbed the arms of the chair and calmly (I still don’t know how, because I was pissed!) replied, ” I am talking about you, as my Supervisor, trying to censor my Free Speech. I’m talking about how me, as a part-time employee with no benefits and no future here, can be expected to leave my free speech in the closet because I work here and dared to challenge the status quo on issue with no bearing on this organization. Either promote and pay me what I am worth so you have that right, to some extent to control my free speech or this meeting is done. Either way, you have made my decision to leave even clearer.”

I gathered my belongings and left for the day. Crying my whole way to my car.

I returned the next scheduled day, and yes they gave me a new title and $2 more an hour ( $2 more times nothing is still nothing!)  over the next 10 months, but I left the next November after doubling my fundraising goals every year for 3 years, because no matter what I did, I could never shake the belief that my values and his were so misaligned, that it would not longer be a good fit for me.

I have contemplated in my heart of hearts and while I lie awake some nights in pain, what it must be like for those who truly will never know the freedoms for which I speak.  How lucky I am to live in a free society, and have a good education with options! How hard must it be for those who don’t have the freedoms that I have enjoyed, through my hard work and struggle to get, but struggles not near as difficult as those that the young families and women that I have met along my life’s journey have had to endure.

So sweetie, good luck trying to stop me not only from commenting online, but also from causing a rift in my marriage. While those at work may have memory loss, you my dear are an amateur and I have age and treachery on my side!

Fight the power!


Attitude of Gratitute

disabilty, hockeymom, motherhood

Dear Awesome Mom,

You know who you are because you have recently commented. I wanted to let you know that you ARE an awesome Mom. We all don’t hear that enough in my honest opinion.

Maybe it is because I’ve been dragged, kicking and screaming mind you, into the world of chronic and often times debilitating disability, that I have a different perspective on life, but I think we need more praise less criticism and more I LOVE YOUS!

Please don’t confuse this as preachiness, I hate that crap! I also hate Mom-Shaming, Mom-Bullying and all the other grown-up Mean Girl CRAP!

Don’t get me wrong – I have my own Burn Book – it’s electronic too! However, the thoughts in my head, are and will remain mine and no amount of filtering/social convention can stop them, they are the few true things that I can call mine.

So rock on you awesome, free-spirited, car loving, singing woman of awesomeness! Let’s enjoy another road trip sometime!

Love always,

Mamasaurus AKA Sister Hockey Wife

Happy Birthday Hubasaurus


Dear Hubasaurus,
It has been 30 birthdays that I’ve spent with you today. How did THAT happen? I’ve seen you grow from a young athlete just out of college and in a new career, to an amazing husband and now an amazing father, coach and friend – almost ready for retirement!

We have not always had it easy, but you’ve always been by my side through it all. Thanks for helping me create the Fullasaurus Five and being my husband. Best wishes for many many more years of love, laughter and a lot of craziness!

Love always,

Welcome To the Machine

crockpot, disabilty, hockeymom, motherhood

After quite a few asks, I have decided to throw my hat into the Blogging Arena. Wish me luck, I think I’m crazy, but then again, we already knew that!

Find me here, or at the coldest hockey rink – I’d say go with the blog – you can wear your pjs and drink some tea!

Why do my children love the coldest sport – ice hockey – in the most torturous place for me, with multiple inflammatory joint diseases? Just asking…

That being said, what do I put in that damned crockpot?