Thinking a lot about loss. About choices. About chance. About love. About family.
The sadness I feel on this September “mourn” makes me realize how lucky I truly am and makes me just want to shake it off.
Am I crazy? Am I the only mom that actually misses her children when they go back to school? My children are healthy, happy and enjoy school – what’s to miss?
I miss the impromptu dance parties. The water gun fights. The hikes in the woods.
I miss the non stop chattering of excitement. I miss the never ending slew of questions of curiosity. I miss them!
So what is a Mamasaurus to do? Dance party!!!!!!
This day – September 11, 2001 – our generations’ “date which will live in infamy.” I remember my husband going to work for the first day after my giving birth to our 3rd child – our little miracle after 7 years of longing. I remember the sunshine. I remember walking my children to their bus stop with my new baby in the stroller. I remember nursing my sweet baby and the horror of my friend’s scream to turn on the TV as we were catching up in the morning by phone as we always did. I remember fear. I remember circling the school’s parking lot 5 times wanting to go and hug my children but deciding that the safe nurturing school place would be best. I remember getting cash, bread, milk and a full tank of gas because my practical engineer friend knew I needed to be busy and feel like I was doing something to protect my family. I remember the coming together to figure out the unfigureoutable. I remember the sadness. I remember…