In Sickness and In Health

children, disability, learning, love, motherhood, teaching, teenagers, truth

No, I’m not talking about my wedding vows, I am talking about writing and creating the perfect lessons for my substitute teacher to continue the learning process with my vast array of students when I am not there.

The health and well-being of my students is always on my mind. Why is X suspended again? Why is L not going to class on time this week after I finally talked with him and thought he was on track? Why is C such a wizard and what can I do to challenge him so he is not bored? Is M still worried about her grades so much she doesn’t sleep at night?

See I believe that teaching is my calling. I have told my students that I take the whole “In Loco Parentis” part seriously. I am their parents while they are in school, but I’m not really am I?

I can’t ground them for being a jerk and skipping class, buy them ice cream on a day they are sad or give them a hug when their spirits are weary can I?

I try when I am there to be a shoulder to cry on, a sounding board for their concerns and a listening ear, even when they are screaming. I teach business, but in my job as CEO of my classes, I blur the lines between management and employees.

All I can do is make sure my substitute understands that they are MY kids and provide lessons to help to carry on my instruction.

In sickness and in health…

Trump the Triggers

disability, faith, family, growth, truth

After a few months off, I feel the need to address what people have been privately asking.

The shock and despair that some are feeling is because they ignored, mimicked, minimized and flat-out discounted the anger and frustration that a great deal of hardworking American people were feeling.

Here are some examples in my personal life:

  1. My new college graduate daughter that had, upon returning to campus in January (after working a full day and driving 4.5 hours) to deal with her “special snowflake” of a roommate who thought she could just remove a kitchen cabinet door from their shared college apartment (University property BTW) and then spend 45 minutes sobbing at the RA’s office when I told her to “Go and get the RA because I want it documented what happened here and that my daughter will not be paying ANY damage bill for your choices.” The Director of Housing was called and along with the RA returned because I had, “Made her frightened and triggered.” I said,
    “I don’t care.” My daughter then regaled them with tales of what her roommate had been doing to her (which was reported) and demanded an emergency meeting. I received a phone call as I was almost home from my daughter stating that the RA had placed Play Dough in front of them both to help them deal with their stress. My daughter, angered by the infantilization of a serious breach of university policy, opened the can, placed the Play Dough back in and stated,” That she didn’t want Play Dough, she wanted to know what disciplinary consequences the roommate (a 21-year-old woman BTW!) was going to face and that she wanted official documentation that none of her choices were going to charged to her as she was working to pay for college. You know, like what GROWN UPS have to do when faced with legal wrongdoing!
  2. My eldest son, having to deal with a roommate, that instead of paying the gas bill decided to take the money and fly off to Europe to see his girlfriend and travel. His parents tried to blame my son and the other roommate for not paying him because you know, their special snowflake would never lie. It took me threatening expulsion from the university and legal action before they paid the back charges. Meanwhile my son and the other roommate had to either shower at work or at a gym at school for 3 weeks until the utilities could be paid for and restored under my son’s name. The student NEVER apologized to my son and still doesn’t think he did anything wrong.
  3. My high school aged son was assaulted in school by a teammate, out of the blue and without provocation. He suffered a punishment of missing the game that they were waiting for the bus for when it happened. My husband and I had to take time to fight for our son (missing work) only to be told that the child, because he had a tough childhood and was emotionally traumatized,  using my son as his punching bag, was only getting suspended from school because removing from the team was too harsh of a penalty. Would that be what was done to my son if the roles were reversed? Who determines whose trauma is worse than another’s?
  4. My middle school aged daughter, falsely accused of using the N word by students who wanted to see, after the truth came out, if they could do a BLM type action.( (This was when Baltimore and Ferguson were burning and BLM protesters were looting and pillaging.)  She was surrounded in the hallway by two teachers and the accuser without any back up or representation from anyone for her and bullied into a false confession. A confession was overturned by the Principal after I had to intervene with the help of my friend, an African-American affirmative action professional, who, upon hearing me tell her the tale, Said ” Oh no! Not my baby girl! You don’t raise your children like that!”.

These are just four examples of my own personal experiences with the broken system of social justice that was thrust upon good, honest people over the past decade.

If you believe that I am deplorable, a racist, a misogynist, a homophobe, or not tolerant in any way than obviously you don’t know me or my family at all and you should not be in our lives.

The divisions thrust upon us by the media dwelling on the negative do not exist for me and my friends of all colors, creeds (or lack thereof) or sexual preferences (or lack thereof).

To those who supported any of the non selected candidates for President, I am sorry you are hurting, but to disparage, deny or discredit my feelings are no better than what you have accused those who don’t think, believe or act like you to have been doing.

We all matter. We all have to work together.

Fighting won’t solve anything.

Trump the Triggers, roll up your sleeves and start working to be more united.

“If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” Mark 3:25