Bitc%es, $luts, False Accusations and Forgiveness…

children, disability, faith, family, growth, hockey, hockeymom, humility, learning, lettinggo, love, momoffive, motherhood, teaching, truth

I think I’ve calmed myself down enough now so that I am not shooting boogers out of my nose with my sobs to try to write down how humiliated I felt tonight when an obviously overwrought, understaffed and poorly trained Stewart’s employee falsely accused me of not paying for my gas.

See, I had to stop for gas after staying very late after school tonight and before I had to go run around again with the typical night of sports mom practice pickup and drop offs.

Knowing the closest gas station to my job is the Sitterly Road location, I stopped at a pump, took of the gas cap off, put in my SEFCU card, the pump turned on, I selected Regular Unleaded and expected to put $20 in my tank and head home. Of course,  as my cold arthritic hands often do, I missed at $20, so I went to $20.05 and stopped.

Staring at the $0.99 coffee with any gas purchase sign on the gas pump in my hand, and with pangs of hunger racking my body (See I missed lunch today as it’s Regents Week starting tomorrow, and I was running to drop off stuff all through my office period!) I decided to go back into my truck,  get my purse and grab a quick cup of tea and those addicting chicken salad sandwiches on white bread. I left my truck near the pump as it wasn’t busy and walked into the store.

After filling my cup, I grabbed my sandwich, went to the register and took out my receipt after asking if I could get the tea for $0.99 if I didn’t pay cash for my gas. She said, “Did you put $20. on pump 8?” I said, “Yeah here’s my receipt,” to which she said,”It’s not clearing on the computer.” I said, “Well I showed you my receipt it’s OK right?” or something to that effect and she mumbled “Yeah,” so I walked out, holding the door for the woman who had been sparring with me for the creamer as per usual, I  used the last of the half and half and had to throw out the container closest to me.

I put my purse, tea and sandwich in my truck and was about ready to get in when the other employee came running out after me, yelling, ” I need to see the receipt. Your pump is showing you didn’t pay!” She was rude and accusatory and many people outside looked at me as if I was trying to steal gas! I was shocked and said.”Yeah here’s my receipt.” I then showed her my receipt and, never apologizing, she mumbled something about a lot of drive offs, and begrudgingly walked back into the store.

As I got into my truck, it really started to hit me. I was falsely accused! I could feel the anger bubbling up in me like the chili in the pot they were stirring inside the store when I went to the counter to buy my tea and sandwich.

I was feeling all kinds of things, mostly humiliation, embarrassment and anger. Someone at Stewart’s Corporate Offices needs to know about this!  What if I didn’t have my receipt? What would she have done, call the police?

I didn’t know her name, so I was going back into the store and getting it. I was going to show her that I don’t steal and I don’t lie and that she should apologize.

Well things went from bad to worse. I went back in to get her name because she made me feel humiliated and no one treats me like that. She still didn’t apologize and actually started yelling at me saying that she didn’t need to listen to me yelling at her.

All she had to do was apologize to me –  “I’m sorry,”  would have stopped it right there. Yeah I would have been mad but I would have been better, but  she just turned her back on me like I was nothing and walked away further humiliating me.

Then I was got mad. I said stuff like, you don’t treat me like that, who do you think you are, I’m a teacher at the school around the corner.! Why would I buy a sandwich and tea if was going to steal gas!

Then I heard “Why don’t you leave you slut!” It was a man’s voice. I couldn’t look up.

WHAAAAT?

Then I heard her call me a bitch. Then I called her a bitch. Not my proudest moment.

I couldn’t believe it! I’m a slut; a bitch? Just for wanting an apology? For asking the employee her name so I could follow up?

Furious, I stormed out. Tears erupted from my body. I called corporate and left a message for their customer service team. I was sobbing at this point.

Then I thought, “I want to speak to someone now.” I called the number back again, tears streaming down my face barely able to contain my sobs so much so that the woman I spoke kept saying try to calm down, try to take a deep breath.

I told her I had to drive home and that my phone was going to die and that I had to drive my son to practice.

When I got home I received a call from a store manager who immediately apologized. He asked me if I could tell him what happened. Crying, I retold the story. I could hear him gasp. He couldn’t say I’m sorry enough. For the first time an employee actually said something that I believed.

However, he was mistakenly called as it was not his store. He even went on to say that he would call the District Manager whose store it was and explain to him what happened so that I did not have to get myself upset. He apologized over and over again. He also said something about bringing it up at the Corporate Office customer service meeting tomorrow.

Soon after, I received a call from the District Manager and I was feeling my tears turn to anger again. Having to recall this a 4th time and hearing his disdain for my side of it and backing up his employee of 10 years, I was shocked. He said he would pull the tape. He said he had lots of drive offs. Not really what I wanted to hear, my phone died mid conversation and I sobbed all the way to my son’s practice and back.

When I returned home, I had received a call back, not from the District Manager, but from the first manager making sure that I had his phone number and if the district manager didn’t call me to feel free to call him.

After trying unsuccessfully to contact the District Manager again, I called the first manager and wanted to thank him for his call. I left him a message that I my phone had died when talking to the DM and that I  appreciated his compassion and follow through.

As hours have passed, I think of all my friends of color, my students, my friends. If I don’t follow through, these types of situations can continue to happen.

Stewart’s DEFINITELY needs to retrain their employees about accusing people falsely, how to process whether or not someone has potentially forgotten to pay and to just teach their employees HUMILITY!

Do I want her fired? No. Do I want an BIG LOUD apology from the highest levels? YES, YES I do!

I will be teaching my students about this. I will be reminding them to ALWAYS get a receipt, to get a name, to be sure before accusing someone. If they make a mistake, to be humble and apologize.

See this slut and bitch never forgets. but she will eventually forgive. Might as well make it a learning opportunity…

 

 

 

 

 

 

In Sickness and In Health

children, disability, learning, love, motherhood, teaching, teenagers, truth

No, I’m not talking about my wedding vows, I am talking about writing and creating the perfect lessons for my substitute teacher to continue the learning process with my vast array of students when I am not there.

The health and well-being of my students is always on my mind. Why is X suspended again? Why is L not going to class on time this week after I finally talked with him and thought he was on track? Why is C such a wizard and what can I do to challenge him so he is not bored? Is M still worried about her grades so much she doesn’t sleep at night?

See I believe that teaching is my calling. I have told my students that I take the whole “In Loco Parentis” part seriously. I am their parents while they are in school, but I’m not really am I?

I can’t ground them for being a jerk and skipping class, buy them ice cream on a day they are sad or give them a hug when their spirits are weary can I?

I try when I am there to be a shoulder to cry on, a sounding board for their concerns and a listening ear, even when they are screaming. I teach business, but in my job as CEO of my classes, I blur the lines between management and employees.

All I can do is make sure my substitute understands that they are MY kids and provide lessons to help to carry on my instruction.

In sickness and in health…

Trump the Triggers

disability, faith, family, growth, truth

After a few months off, I feel the need to address what people have been privately asking.

The shock and despair that some are feeling is because they ignored, mimicked, minimized and flat-out discounted the anger and frustration that a great deal of hardworking American people were feeling.

Here are some examples in my personal life:

  1. My new college graduate daughter that had, upon returning to campus in January (after working a full day and driving 4.5 hours) to deal with her “special snowflake” of a roommate who thought she could just remove a kitchen cabinet door from their shared college apartment (University property BTW) and then spend 45 minutes sobbing at the RA’s office when I told her to “Go and get the RA because I want it documented what happened here and that my daughter will not be paying ANY damage bill for your choices.” The Director of Housing was called and along with the RA returned because I had, “Made her frightened and triggered.” I said,
    “I don’t care.” My daughter then regaled them with tales of what her roommate had been doing to her (which was reported) and demanded an emergency meeting. I received a phone call as I was almost home from my daughter stating that the RA had placed Play Dough in front of them both to help them deal with their stress. My daughter, angered by the infantilization of a serious breach of university policy, opened the can, placed the Play Dough back in and stated,” That she didn’t want Play Dough, she wanted to know what disciplinary consequences the roommate (a 21-year-old woman BTW!) was going to face and that she wanted official documentation that none of her choices were going to charged to her as she was working to pay for college. You know, like what GROWN UPS have to do when faced with legal wrongdoing!
  2. My eldest son, having to deal with a roommate, that instead of paying the gas bill decided to take the money and fly off to Europe to see his girlfriend and travel. His parents tried to blame my son and the other roommate for not paying him because you know, their special snowflake would never lie. It took me threatening expulsion from the university and legal action before they paid the back charges. Meanwhile my son and the other roommate had to either shower at work or at a gym at school for 3 weeks until the utilities could be paid for and restored under my son’s name. The student NEVER apologized to my son and still doesn’t think he did anything wrong.
  3. My high school aged son was assaulted in school by a teammate, out of the blue and without provocation. He suffered a punishment of missing the game that they were waiting for the bus for when it happened. My husband and I had to take time to fight for our son (missing work) only to be told that the child, because he had a tough childhood and was emotionally traumatized,  using my son as his punching bag, was only getting suspended from school because removing from the team was too harsh of a penalty. Would that be what was done to my son if the roles were reversed? Who determines whose trauma is worse than another’s?
  4. My middle school aged daughter, falsely accused of using the N word by students who wanted to see, after the truth came out, if they could do a BLM type action.( (This was when Baltimore and Ferguson were burning and BLM protesters were looting and pillaging.)  She was surrounded in the hallway by two teachers and the accuser without any back up or representation from anyone for her and bullied into a false confession. A confession was overturned by the Principal after I had to intervene with the help of my friend, an African-American affirmative action professional, who, upon hearing me tell her the tale, Said ” Oh no! Not my baby girl! You don’t raise your children like that!”.

These are just four examples of my own personal experiences with the broken system of social justice that was thrust upon good, honest people over the past decade.

If you believe that I am deplorable, a racist, a misogynist, a homophobe, or not tolerant in any way than obviously you don’t know me or my family at all and you should not be in our lives.

The divisions thrust upon us by the media dwelling on the negative do not exist for me and my friends of all colors, creeds (or lack thereof) or sexual preferences (or lack thereof).

To those who supported any of the non selected candidates for President, I am sorry you are hurting, but to disparage, deny or discredit my feelings are no better than what you have accused those who don’t think, believe or act like you to have been doing.

We all matter. We all have to work together.

Fighting won’t solve anything.

Trump the Triggers, roll up your sleeves and start working to be more united.

“If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” Mark 3:25

 

Starbucks Sucks at Not Offending

Catholic, disability, momoffive, motherhood

Dear Starbucks,

First you had the “discuss the person’s name” initiative which I thought was really lame but if it makes someone smile ok whatever.

Next you had the no guns in our stores mandate which I thought typical hispster company from Washington state trying to be cool with their demographic.

Then you had your Barista (AKA Moron) refuse use of a bathroom in Philadelphia to a police officer and were obnoxious about it.

Now after a policy of many years of having a Christmas themed cup you are deciding against it.

Now for those of you that think these things don’t matter let me tell you – it most certainly does.

A campaign to attack Chic-Fil-A with a “Kiss In” because their CEO did not support gay marriage did happen. How did that work out for Chick-Fil-A – soaring profits.

A campaign to boycott or craft the devil has happened at Hobby Lobby because of their stances against not covering a few forms of birth control and their strong Christian stance again the effect – increased business for a Christian company.

You don’t think it matters – it does – right where it hurts – the bottom line. Christians buy stuff -lot of stuff. We have children – more children thatn most. While we most likely will not openly protest, we will do it more quietly.

Starbucks has been closing locations left and right due to poor performance. Poor branding and corporate policy does matter.

Congratulations Stewart’s, WaWa, Dunkin Donuts, and Horton’s – your bottom lines are going to be improved this holiday season.

As to Starbucks – I will miss your hot cocoa but Merry Christmas! Oh yeah and BTW I am the demographic you should not be offending!

Mamasaurus