I love sports. They were such an important part of my life from as long as I can remember, and I daresay, they still are.

Sportsmanship is Alive and Well

Upon reading this article, my heart just broke a little more; a feat I didn’t think was possible.

See, I was the first child of an athlete. My baby gift was a Johnny Unitas signed football. My treasured toy was my Dr. J. red, white and blue basketball. I really never played with dolls. I liked to play basketball. I loved to ride my bike for miles. I shot BB guns, ran the pastures around my house, and swam in the community pool.

I was a awkward, lanky, nerdy, exceedingly tall girl, that never quite fit in anywhere.  My home life with a constantly working father and a manically depressed and often abusive mother and disabled sister were not idyllic.

Sports and being a part of a team, were my escape. They were a place where I kind of fit due to my  height and genetic gifts for sport.

At 18 I blessed to Zing with my hubby, a former D1 baseball player and ice hockey lover, who grew up, a lot like me, just skating on the flats, hiking, camping and fishing, and playing in the sand lot.

We have been blessed with 5 incredibly wonderful children. We expected that sports would be a part of their lives. We allowed them to try all kind of things. Their sports glory or failures were not about us. It is about their development as a human. It was about being a part of something larger then themselves.

They mostly gravitated to their father’s sports of baseball/softball and ice hockey (although I have one volleyball player!) He and I have volunteered to help all children on the teams, no matter their ability. We love sports and obviously having kids (lots of them) in our lives. It seemed a natural progression to continue to be involved and share our love of sports with others through coaching, volunteering, driving kids to practices and games if necessary, just being present.

But something changed. Sports became big business. At young ages parents are sold a bill of goods that little Jonny or Mary, if they go to the right camps, play on the the best teams, buy the best equipment, they will have this magical, transformative experience. In what I have witnessed and experienced, the reality falls far short of the promises.

Gone are the days of multi-sport athletes. Children are being pushed to focus on one sport earlier and earlier. Countless studies have shown that it is bad for children, yet it persists.

Early Specialization: Nine Reasons Why It Is a Bad Idea

Why? It makes people money. It make parents feel good. It makes children feel good – for awhile.

What happens when winning becomes EVERYTHING? What happens when you no longer can win? What happen to you when you trounce an opponent so badly that you crush a person’s soul? Longitudinally – what, in being someone that participates in that trouncing, does it do to your soul?

Winning is fun. But should it be the focus of youth sport? Shouldn’t youth sport be geared to learning? Having fun? Becoming a better, healthier YOU?

Winning is fun, but sportsmanship is better. Let’s teach our children that shaking hands after a game is more important than the score. Let’s stop the madness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

baseball, Catholic, children, coaching, family, growth, hockey, hockeymom, love, momoffive, motherhood, skating, sports, sportsmanship, truth

Rules Don’t Apply Equally

Catholic, children, coaching, faith, family, growth, hockey, hockeymom, lettinggo, love, momoffive, motherhood, skating, sports, teenagers, truth

Happy Easter Monday!

My middle child has had a tough year with sports and in life in general. He has found that friends from childhood left him for the shiny new penny in town, he was jumped by a school teammate and the punishment was not fair and even excused away due to the other’s “rough childhood experiences” and then with great anticipation and excitement, he joined a new organization and new “old” team only to find that tigers don’t change their stripes and rules don’t apply equally.

Funny how people love to sit in their sanctimonious glass houses preaching about gratitude and appropriate behaviors while condoning cheating and cross-rostering across organizations without prior permissions – violations that caused other players to be removed from a league – and when we were faced with an abusive coach, to sit idly by in apathetic acceptance, too afraid to say anything, but expecting me to defend my child (and yours by association) further putting my own children in jeopardy?

Having learned that there is no fairness at a young age, while heartbreaking to watch unfold, will allow him to be a stronger, more faithful and more grateful person. Teaching hockey to those less fortunate, will allow him to realize that playing sports is a privilege.

So very pleased that I was told by an old friend that he did such a wonderful job with one of his young charges, I watched him wearily, but with a joyful countenance, amble to the car.

Beaming, on the way home, he regaled me with how he taught a young child how to skate and leave the security of the sled behind.

He, with great hope, untarnished by the ugliness that the has experienced and smiling ear to ear, was so joy-filled to be able to be back on the ice helping those learn to love the abject perfection of a clean sheet of ice, the coldness of the air and the sweat of your brow after crossing over a few hundred times.

While the rules may not apply equally, the love of skating will never leave his soul.

Rules don’t apply to your feelings.

 

 

Common (Dis)Courtesy

children, disabilty, momoffive, motherhood, waiting

Dear Medical Professionals,

This is broad category that encompasses doctors, nurses, office staff, receptionists, schedulers, ad nauseum…

Go back to charm school because you all suck this week!

As a person with a partridge and a pear tree’s worth of disabling conditions that I have had for 10 years, I understand and have seen how much medical care in NYS has gone in the crapper since then.

Guess what? I don’t give a damn. You chose to enter the profession. I didn’t choose to be permanently disabled and have to deal with your attitudes about being in a ACA medical profession in 2015 so suck it the hell up or find another job. Our president and the media tell me the economy is very good and there are lots of jobs!

Case in point – vascular surgeon’s office. (Yes a lovely new old development in the litany of “conditions that I have” needs to finally be addressed!)

On the news the other morning they said that there was an accident backing up traffic at 7:30 am. There is more than one way off this traffic accident area in which to reach your office.

My appointment, scheduled way over a month ago, was for 10:30 am. I arrive at 10:18 am.

At 11 am when I hobble crippledly up to the recpetion area to inquire what is going on with my appointment  and I am told then, and only then, that, “There was an accident. Patients were late, the doctors were late.”  in a rude and snotty tone.

I replied, “Well I was early, and was not informed of any of this so that I could have made a choice with my time. Most doctors offices either inform the patients at check in of a delay with an apology and give the patient the option of rescheduling. You did neither.”

Honey here’s a tip – I know I’m a bitch. I wear the badge proudly. I also know that as a vascular group you are used to dealing with geriatric patients that don’t have 5 children and a busy Christmas schedule and that can wait 3 hours while you make excuses for bad business practices. I also know that most of them have hearing issues. I do too, but not when you speak that loudly and say, “I’m tired of hearing people bitch!” do not expect me to not hear you.

Really? You are tired of it. Well honey listen to me – you haven’t heard bitch but it’s coming.

You are very lucky that I’ve gone more passive agressive this holiday season and have switched off my usual, “Go F#ck Yourself” response switch.

Instead, I will choose to write to my private payer insurance company and file, yet another customer complaint form. Luckily ’tis online and I have a fill-in-the-blank template already created which I call Bitch Libs.

It is in a much nastier tone and style, but I share this from the interwebs as a close style sheet:

Grievance Forms

I also may have a nice discussion with my new physician about how his recepiontist’s attitude could potentially cost him patients or his patients their lives. Remember Vascular = Stroke & Anurism Potential

I’ve heard it’s a bulk industry (the more patients the more money)  now so that may get a response.

Either way medical people try to be nice. If you can’t be nice certainly don’t call someone a bitch as you never know all the shit that is going on in their lives. (My 12 year old daughter is going in for major knee surgery on Monday and I have very few precious hours to get shit done because I have to call 1500 times to her medical office to  fill out a form for the school which takes 1500 hours to process said form and the time and I need a date and time of THAT surgery so I can plan for the other 2 minor children and your damn vascular surgeon’s office sign says no cell phones! What is this 1990?)

Most importantly – don’t call someone a bitch in my earshot.

You will never know when I will go back to full on Go F#ck Yourself mode…

Your courteous reminder,

Mamasaurus

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Feed with the TaTas!

Catholic, disabilty, hockeymom, motherhood, OTE

Dear Golden Corral in Albany, NY,

While I understand times are tough for your owner since his flea bag disgusting motels that preyed upon society’s untouchables have been closed, the fact that your FEMALE manager asked a nursing mother to go and feed her baby in the bathroom is abhorrent. I nursed every one of the Fabulous Fullersaurus Five and while I never received any flack for nursing in public (Hmm I just don’t know why that would be?) I know that many women, law or no law to protect that right, feel shamed into covering up, feeding in the bathroom or just plain not doing it because of society’s shaming them. I say “Feed with the TaTas” and just do what is natural. Is that baby eating hurting you? I hope she uses the NYS breastfeeding protection law to not only raise awareness, but to financially punish that dirtbag owner.10423650_10153108409844931_8075938403934986813_n

In Solidarity,

Mamasaurus

Apologies, Social Media and Too Much Detail

Catholic, disabilty, hockeymom, motherhood

Good Afternoon Roarers!

Today I find myself exceedingly calm, cool and collected – considering I had a major financial aid issue for my soon to be college grad Engineerasaurus Rex and it happened directly when I was supposed to be leaving for a rescheduled event.

Well after rushing to get the task done, making sure the JVsaurs were entertained, I hopped into the USS Fuller only to find it almost on E and very cranky due to the mind numbing cold.

20 minutes after I left the cave, and after I pretended I was on the pit crew at Indy for a refuel, I arrived at my destination (I actually took a shower and dressed in a suit with a scarf to accessorize and was wearing lipstick to top off the extreme top knot hairstyle all within 15 minutes – total elapsed time from start to finish 45 minutes!) only to find no one there!

Thinking that perhaps I had messed up my dates, I laughingly inquired if it was a mistake on my part. I was told no – the presenter had cancelled due to illness and had supposedly emaiedl all the registered participants. I was also told that another woman had come and gone.

Trusty Smartphone in hand, Mamasaurus searched the email boxes (Including SPAM), checked the Eventbrite notifications, to no avail – no cancellation.

I smiled and graciously started to walk out – only to meet up with another gentleman inquiring about the same event. He was not as gracious nor as accepting.

Trying to be ever so helpful, I messaged the host to let them know that others such as myself did not get the cancellation and that perhaps it was because of the Eventbrite software with my wishes for a speedy recovery.

I was met with a surprising and quite frankly off-putting reply.

I guess that’s the last time I’ll try and be helpful.

Note to all – when you apologize mean it. Be sincere. Do not make excuses. We all have sick kids, disabilities, difficulties with planes, trains and automobiles.

When it is – 20 celsius, and I have multiple mobility reducing permanent disabling conditions exacerbated by extreme cold; your excuses really don’t matter.

Sincere apologies do.

Say them however only if you mean them.

If not, don’t bother – I can tell the difference.

Cheers!

Mamasaurus

Faith, Estrogen and Entrepreneurship

Uncategorized

As I am writing this blog post it is in the early morning after my attendance at a Girl Power tournament loooong weekend, the Always sponsored “Run Like a Girl Superbowl Ad” with the culminating event last night about women entrepreneurs. To say I’m on estrogen overload is an understatement. I’m having so much estrogen fighting my testosterone that I feel like I need to punch something and eat raw meat to bring balance to my universe!

WHY?

Why does being a “woman” mean you have to be a back biting mean girl?

Why does being a woman mean you have to NOT “run like a girl”?

Why do woman entrepreneurs have to lose their faith?

Those are the three MAJOR concepts I’m contemplating this morning!

1) MEAN GIRLS – they are everywhere, at every age and will never be eradicated from this earth. I choose to confront them, head on like a charging Mamasaurus!  Send me a forest full of “letters” and “warnings” – I could use the toilet paper. You know I’m ultimately right. I never fight unless I am. Silly – you will learn that.

2) Are you kidding me? That’s the best you can come up with Always? Really? PATHETIC!!!! Women lose confidence at 12 because that’s when the mean girl bullying about appearance (6th grade!) and when most girls start menstruating. So that’s your subtle advertising? Urgh!!! I might have been more impressed with it (doubt it!) if it was at least sponsored by Nike, Reebok or another athletic company.  Do I dare ask, “What if I don’t want to run at all?” Oh yeah there I go again – too deep…

3) FAITH – wow don’t know how I didn’t shout out how upset I was at the nervous laughter when a panelist derided my faith last night. Oh yeah, it’s allowed because it’s open season on Catholics in the U.S.? That’s right I’m a Roman Catholic. Very proud of it! So panelist, when you talk about the “Sisters of Mercy” that is a special group to me. The fact that you are “bragging” about your mentorship of them and using it as a punch line made me want to punch something! As I was with a new friend of faith and her friends from church, I didn’t want to make a scene so I got up and left, went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. It was not as feminine an exit as I had hoped (I’m not used to a skirt ok?) and my return was markedly noticed and I walked as gracefully as I could, with my skirt tucked into my pantyhose! Yeah – that’s me! Thankfully a nice woman pointed this out.

Back to FAITH – see I had just be subjected to almost 90 minutes of “local woman entrepreneur experts” testimony on what made them successful.  I never heard one thing about FAITH. I had just written a note in my leather bound fancy idea journal (I felt like a Jr. High girl passing notes!) to my new friend, “How come they are afraid to talk about FAITH?” and then it happened. God made apparent. Literally 30 seconds after she acknowledged she was thinking the same thing – the nuns issue came out, the nervous laughter and then the panelist’s quote, “They think they can just pray and make it happen!”

Well my new friend looked at me, her friends from church looked at me and went, mouth agape, “Oh my goodness!” You just wrote that!”

 Yup – welcome to my world “sisters”!

Stay true to who you are. Pray if that’s what you do, meditate if you like, or just be still. The ONLY one you listen to is your breathing. Listen to your God. You KNOW what to do. Have confidence that you are faith-filled, wise and disciplined enough to hear it. Be ready to listen…

DONATE LIFE

Uncategorized

PLEASE SIGN UP TO BE AN ORGAN DONOR! I have one friend alive and playing with his children because of a donor kidney and one that is no longer on this earth due to none being available. My heart is heavy today with the memory of the latter and news of a freind just now needing dialysis forever because he is ineliglble for the “list”. You can’t take them with you PLEASE give the gift of life!

Love, Mamasaurus

http://posthope.org/rick-bartlett/journal

http://www.donors1.org/

http://www.organdonor.gov/becomingdonor/index.html?gclid=CjwKEAiAoo2mBRD20fvvlojj5jsSJABMSc7jPwZeF1ht1q9b8QjP-1S5T4_58S6wJeKsId5H_akCqxoC0j3w_wcB

You’re Wearing That?????!!!!!

Catholic, disabilty, hockeymom, leggings, motherhood, OTE

Dear Women and Men and Those Who Don’t Identify with Gender at All,

Perhaps this comment is to you sitting there in the comfort of your warm surroundings on your iPad, or maybe you’re a poor young woman, struggling to buy appropriate clothing for your job on a tight budget, sitting at a library PC or on your smartphone, or you’re not – anyway you are seeing this – I want to give you permission to wear what you feel comfortable in and not let anyone, HEAR ME, anyone tell you differently.

I’m so sorry that society has turned on you – you beautiful creatures of all shapes and sizes. I’m sorry that my daughters (and sons too) have to guard everyday against the hatred that women (and men who want to be comfortable and/or push the conventional fashion envelope.) face every day: The dreaded comment, “You’re Wearing That?????!!!!!”

Who freaking cares? Really – think about it. Women, children, PEOPLE are being slaughtered, raped and beheaded worldwide and you are worried about someone telling you your a@$ looks fat?

Come on people – we are better than that!

Love to you all!

Mamasaurus

In response to and linked to Author KGB with gratitude:

http://blog.timesunion.com/ontheedge/poll-should-women-wear-leggings/59622/comment-page-1/#comment-796125

http://www.justkristi.com/2015/01/took-break-social-media/

Mi voz fuerte

disabilty, hockeymom, motherhood

Dear Ignorant Commenter on a FB page,

You are a coward. You had the nerve to complain about a person in a wheelchair taking too long to get on a public bus? Wow!!!! I pray for your immortal soul.

As a 39 year old mother of five children, my life was filled with busyness, a full time job, vacations that were scheduled, music lessons, dance lessons, etc., as well as my volunteer and philanthropic activities.

Fast forward to today, I’m still a mother of five, but I’m permanently disabled and mobility impaired due to auto-immune diseases and a mild tremor disorder.

I would love to not make people wait in line while it takes me longer to check out at a store, endure the glares and snide comments from ignorant people who comment on my parking in a handicapped space because I don’t look handicapped; but I’m glad that I do, because my disability has not taken my voice.

My voice can be used to advocate for those with disabilities that go home and cry to their parents and their caregivers because a person like the one commenting there yelled at them and they can’t yell back. The person you are shaming and complaining about is someone’s child, mother, father, husband, wife and/or friend.

I sure hope we meet, someday and that you are courageous enough to stand up for your views, in person.

I double dog dare you!

In solidarity,

Mamasaurus