Our Cross to Bear

Catholic, children, faith, family, motherhood, truth

Good Friday – God Friday – sitting here contemplating Jesus making the choice not to fight to prove it should not be him crucified? How would I have reacted? Would I have allowed myself to be punished for the deeds of others so that someone else should live?

Thinking about what is right and just a great deal lately. Why does it seem so hard to be the one that stands up for what is right and just in today’s world? Being Godly – what does that even mean?

To me it is a simple choice to try and be the best I can be in God’s eyes. Firstly for my own salvation, secondly to be a wife that is a sacramental partner for my husband and thirdly, and in my opinion most importantly, for my children’s spiritual understanding and moral development. My trinity of truth, faith and love.

Truth – doing what is right and just  even though it is oftentimes painful.

Faith – knowing that if you are righteous and just it will be forgiven when you make a mistake. Believing that there is something bigger than just you and that God is forgiving and loving, but not always easy to follow.

Love – having love in your heart – even for those that do you (and your children and spouse) wrong. The hardest part of the puzzle to find love for your enemies.

Truth = God Faith = Holy Spirit Love = Jesus

As a mother, those that hurt my children are the hardest for  me to forgive. While I know that disappointment and pain make you stronger, it hurts a part of me so primal, so vulnerable, that it is almost unbearable.

My children show me that love and compassion are easy. They forget the stupid little wrongs and move on, running off to play with someone, who just minutes ago, pushed them down, said, “I’m sorry.” and was forgiven.

We need to be more like children. We need to put down our worries and sadness and anger, say I’m sorry (and mean it!) and run along and play.

Galatians 4:6-7 “Because you are children, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a child; and if a child, then an heir through God.”

The last words that Jesus cried out as his crucifixion were “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” (Matthew 27:46)

These two passages are intertwined aren’t they?  Never realized it – God has given us a road map to see children are the light and the hope (Holy Spirit), he is the truth and Jesus is the faith.

The Holy Trinity – Father, Son and Holy Spirit – in our life, our death and our resurrection.

Our cross is how we travel the  journey of life in God’s example of truth.

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Is Sociopath the New Black?

Catholic, children, coaching, disabilty, hockeymom, lettinggo, momoffive, motherhood, sports

Been awhile and I’m struggling trying to come to grips with why…self doubt, anxiety, busyness, de-prioritization of my needs; I can go on and on…

What has come to a earth shattering head is my desire to remove sociopaths from my life and avoid them at all costs.

What is a sociopath you ask?  Instead of defining the negative, I am focusing on the positive or empath side (because frankly I look terrible in orange!) and engaging in putting a desire to associate only with positive people and empathetic people.

For those wanting a good read, I highly recommend the The Empathy Trap a book that absolutely enhanced my work to dismantle the negative, energy sucking and stressful people and events from my life and encourage the positive.

Another article grabbed my attention this morning was the F word ( No not one of the  swear words I enjoy using!)  – but Feminism – and after International Women’s Day yesterday, the countless same old same old Women’s Month events, political pulling of the woman cards, special places in hell for certain women, etc. I felt I should break my self-exile and speak. As a women, a wife, a sister, a mother, a friend; my roles consistently put me in a place where sociopaths are the new norm and unfortunately are perhaps the new black – a blackness of depravity of character so beyond my comprehension that I refuse to accept it as the new norm.

A very wise person told me once  “No one gives a shit whether you live or die.”

Wiser words have never been spoken! Why? Because it came with a caveat -a millisecond later – the ONLY one that should care about you is YOU!

Anger, stress, revenge, sarcasm – all can be used as motivators, but often times we don’t know how to take the negative in our lives and turn them into golden opportunities for learning and self reflection and most often these “motivators” are turned to life altering stressors that cause disease, violence and pain.

Recently a coach put his hands on my child in anger. My child responded with anger back. I resisted (albeit with extreme difficulty) to turn to my default of anger, revenge, and vendetta, and turned to prayer and self-refection to try to help my child (and myself and those around me) grow and learn. I turned to a trusted friend with strong faith to help me through one of the most difficult events I have faced as a mother.

My child is forever changed by how I approached this difficult situation. I believe he has learned a tremendous amount from it. My child’s ability to analyze and reflect and learn from this is so well above his/her chronological age and I am so very proud.

I am angry? Yes! Am I disappointed? No doubt – but my attempts to channel positivity from this and to take an educators perspective, “What can be learned and done differently when presented with a situation like this in the future?” will undoubtedly affect not only the child affected, but every child and person in whom comes in contact with my child.

I will not be wearing black – in my wardrobe nor my countenance, but most importantly not in my soul! Easter is upon us and Spring in the air and with it, the winds of change…

 

 

 

 

Feed with the TaTas!

Catholic, disabilty, hockeymom, motherhood, OTE

Dear Golden Corral in Albany, NY,

While I understand times are tough for your owner since his flea bag disgusting motels that preyed upon society’s untouchables have been closed, the fact that your FEMALE manager asked a nursing mother to go and feed her baby in the bathroom is abhorrent. I nursed every one of the Fabulous Fullersaurus Five and while I never received any flack for nursing in public (Hmm I just don’t know why that would be?) I know that many women, law or no law to protect that right, feel shamed into covering up, feeding in the bathroom or just plain not doing it because of society’s shaming them. I say “Feed with the TaTas” and just do what is natural. Is that baby eating hurting you? I hope she uses the NYS breastfeeding protection law to not only raise awareness, but to financially punish that dirtbag owner.10423650_10153108409844931_8075938403934986813_n

In Solidarity,

Mamasaurus

Faith, Estrogen and Entrepreneurship

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As I am writing this blog post it is in the early morning after my attendance at a Girl Power tournament loooong weekend, the Always sponsored “Run Like a Girl Superbowl Ad” with the culminating event last night about women entrepreneurs. To say I’m on estrogen overload is an understatement. I’m having so much estrogen fighting my testosterone that I feel like I need to punch something and eat raw meat to bring balance to my universe!

WHY?

Why does being a “woman” mean you have to be a back biting mean girl?

Why does being a woman mean you have to NOT “run like a girl”?

Why do woman entrepreneurs have to lose their faith?

Those are the three MAJOR concepts I’m contemplating this morning!

1) MEAN GIRLS – they are everywhere, at every age and will never be eradicated from this earth. I choose to confront them, head on like a charging Mamasaurus!  Send me a forest full of “letters” and “warnings” – I could use the toilet paper. You know I’m ultimately right. I never fight unless I am. Silly – you will learn that.

2) Are you kidding me? That’s the best you can come up with Always? Really? PATHETIC!!!! Women lose confidence at 12 because that’s when the mean girl bullying about appearance (6th grade!) and when most girls start menstruating. So that’s your subtle advertising? Urgh!!! I might have been more impressed with it (doubt it!) if it was at least sponsored by Nike, Reebok or another athletic company.  Do I dare ask, “What if I don’t want to run at all?” Oh yeah there I go again – too deep…

3) FAITH – wow don’t know how I didn’t shout out how upset I was at the nervous laughter when a panelist derided my faith last night. Oh yeah, it’s allowed because it’s open season on Catholics in the U.S.? That’s right I’m a Roman Catholic. Very proud of it! So panelist, when you talk about the “Sisters of Mercy” that is a special group to me. The fact that you are “bragging” about your mentorship of them and using it as a punch line made me want to punch something! As I was with a new friend of faith and her friends from church, I didn’t want to make a scene so I got up and left, went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. It was not as feminine an exit as I had hoped (I’m not used to a skirt ok?) and my return was markedly noticed and I walked as gracefully as I could, with my skirt tucked into my pantyhose! Yeah – that’s me! Thankfully a nice woman pointed this out.

Back to FAITH – see I had just be subjected to almost 90 minutes of “local woman entrepreneur experts” testimony on what made them successful.  I never heard one thing about FAITH. I had just written a note in my leather bound fancy idea journal (I felt like a Jr. High girl passing notes!) to my new friend, “How come they are afraid to talk about FAITH?” and then it happened. God made apparent. Literally 30 seconds after she acknowledged she was thinking the same thing – the nuns issue came out, the nervous laughter and then the panelist’s quote, “They think they can just pray and make it happen!”

Well my new friend looked at me, her friends from church looked at me and went, mouth agape, “Oh my goodness!” You just wrote that!”

 Yup – welcome to my world “sisters”!

Stay true to who you are. Pray if that’s what you do, meditate if you like, or just be still. The ONLY one you listen to is your breathing. Listen to your God. You KNOW what to do. Have confidence that you are faith-filled, wise and disciplined enough to hear it. Be ready to listen…

DONATE LIFE

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PLEASE SIGN UP TO BE AN ORGAN DONOR! I have one friend alive and playing with his children because of a donor kidney and one that is no longer on this earth due to none being available. My heart is heavy today with the memory of the latter and news of a freind just now needing dialysis forever because he is ineliglble for the “list”. You can’t take them with you PLEASE give the gift of life!

Love, Mamasaurus

http://posthope.org/rick-bartlett/journal

http://www.donors1.org/

http://www.organdonor.gov/becomingdonor/index.html?gclid=CjwKEAiAoo2mBRD20fvvlojj5jsSJABMSc7jPwZeF1ht1q9b8QjP-1S5T4_58S6wJeKsId5H_akCqxoC0j3w_wcB

You’re Wearing That?????!!!!!

Catholic, disabilty, hockeymom, leggings, motherhood, OTE

Dear Women and Men and Those Who Don’t Identify with Gender at All,

Perhaps this comment is to you sitting there in the comfort of your warm surroundings on your iPad, or maybe you’re a poor young woman, struggling to buy appropriate clothing for your job on a tight budget, sitting at a library PC or on your smartphone, or you’re not – anyway you are seeing this – I want to give you permission to wear what you feel comfortable in and not let anyone, HEAR ME, anyone tell you differently.

I’m so sorry that society has turned on you – you beautiful creatures of all shapes and sizes. I’m sorry that my daughters (and sons too) have to guard everyday against the hatred that women (and men who want to be comfortable and/or push the conventional fashion envelope.) face every day: The dreaded comment, “You’re Wearing That?????!!!!!”

Who freaking cares? Really – think about it. Women, children, PEOPLE are being slaughtered, raped and beheaded worldwide and you are worried about someone telling you your a@$ looks fat?

Come on people – we are better than that!

Love to you all!

Mamasaurus

In response to and linked to Author KGB with gratitude:

http://blog.timesunion.com/ontheedge/poll-should-women-wear-leggings/59622/comment-page-1/#comment-796125

http://www.justkristi.com/2015/01/took-break-social-media/

Mi voz fuerte

disabilty, hockeymom, motherhood

Dear Ignorant Commenter on a FB page,

You are a coward. You had the nerve to complain about a person in a wheelchair taking too long to get on a public bus? Wow!!!! I pray for your immortal soul.

As a 39 year old mother of five children, my life was filled with busyness, a full time job, vacations that were scheduled, music lessons, dance lessons, etc., as well as my volunteer and philanthropic activities.

Fast forward to today, I’m still a mother of five, but I’m permanently disabled and mobility impaired due to auto-immune diseases and a mild tremor disorder.

I would love to not make people wait in line while it takes me longer to check out at a store, endure the glares and snide comments from ignorant people who comment on my parking in a handicapped space because I don’t look handicapped; but I’m glad that I do, because my disability has not taken my voice.

My voice can be used to advocate for those with disabilities that go home and cry to their parents and their caregivers because a person like the one commenting there yelled at them and they can’t yell back. The person you are shaming and complaining about is someone’s child, mother, father, husband, wife and/or friend.

I sure hope we meet, someday and that you are courageous enough to stand up for your views, in person.

I double dog dare you!

In solidarity,

Mamasaurus

To Be or Not To Be – that should never be the question…

Catholic, hockeymom, motherhood

Happy Epiphany!

Yup today’s post is about revelations.  Revelations AKA Epiphanies are extremely important as you travel this journey called life.

Quite a few friends are journeying with me. Unfortunately, many will be let off at the next stop. Neither they nor their baggage are welcome on my journey.

Hockey is never about hockey to me. Hockey is about teamwork, about working together to achieve a common goal, or even just to find one true friend; it is NEVER about hockey.

I never have played ice hockey, or street hockey, or even roller hockey. I’m a poor skater that grew up with hand me down figure skates and the luck of knowing a farmer with a pond.

My husband loves hockey. So do my children. He grew up in Utica NY, skating on the flats and playing shinny hockey. He is an average skater, a decent shot, but a fabulous coach.

Recent events caused by parents (Ones that mind you that were never really athletes!) on a team that will not be named, has caused the love of hockey, working with young people and just being on the ice to cease to be fun for him and by my love for him, me too. That is not cool.

No one should ever be forced to be. No one should be forced to be who they are not.

Epiphany…

God bless,

Mamasaurus

Two Degrees of Mamasaurus and Pope Francis

Catholic, disabilty, hockeymom, motherhood

Wow! The extended Christmas weekend is winding to a close and I’m just moved by the love I’ve been a part of over the past 2 weeks.

Looking at friends’ Christmas and vacation photos have moved me, but one specific picture of a dear friend’s Christmas photo in front of her tree moved me deeply.

See, she has been a friend of mine since she was a child. Her parents brought up the Holy Eucharist at my wedding.

Rewind – my parish closed in 2010 and was merged with another. It has been a painful and difficult journey and I’ve felt like a spiritual hobo on a tramp steamer called the USS Fuller.

So I’ve had lots of different friends, many not of my chosen faith help me on my journey. However, none have helped me as much as our new Holy Father Pope Francis.

Raised by a mother who did not agree with Vatican II, a convert father, and coming to full communion through Confirmation into the Roman Catholic faith at age 24; my journey, like a lot of things I have and will continue to do, was not easy.

When Pope Francis, a Franciscan, was selected, I was overjoyed as a Siena graduate, lover of Saint Francis of Assisi’s works, I felt encouraged more than ever by Pop Francis’s words, but most importantly, his actions.

Today I tearfully found out that this dear girl, now a mother herself twice over, has a beautiful daughter with severe health challenges.

Rewind again, I recently also discovered a great hockey dad I know was a Roman Catholic too! I have wanted to take a pilgrimage to Philadelphia in September of 2015 to have an audience with Pope Francis. I think a cheesesteak eating selfie would be amazing and totally doable with our Holy Father!

So back to my friend, well, she told me today her daughter has been very sick since birth was in the ICU in an Italian hospital.

She told me in her despair and praying for her daughter’s health and her strength a commotion was afoot and into the ICU walked none other than Pope Francis.  She told me how he embraced her and her husband and that she felt as if he had known them their whole lives and acted like just, as she put it, a “regular” guy.

So if I lose my “bet” with my friend, that’s ok. I would much rather have Pope Francis comfort a mother that needs it than waste his precious time eating a cheesesteak with me.

I have my 2 degrees of separation, and that’s fine by me!